Grades 7–12 are a vital part of the Philippine education system, where your children are growing into teenagers and becoming their own people. These years are a stressful time for teenagers due to their hormonal increase as well as the increased workload from school. Because of the increase in responsibilities, they will begin to be more independent and start having their own opinions, as well as spending more time with their friends.
These years are where your guidance is most needed since this is when your teenager can make impulsive decisions due to their hormones, making it harder for them to regulate their emotions. But communicating with your teen is a difficult task because there may be difficulty on your side or theirs. The request that may seem reasonable to you may seem like an outrageous demand to them, so the key is to form an understanding between you and your teenager.
So take a deep breath, reflect, and let’s get started:
1. Listen
You can communicate with them directly, but do not be too pushy. Teenagers are more likely to open up if they are not pressured into it. You also have to listen and not hear.
Pay attention to what they are saying; don’t speak over them. Active listening is important when you communicate with them. You need to be non-judgmental, caring, and empathetic to what they are saying.
2. Validate Their Feelings
Don't downplay their feelings. "It's not that bad.” You should not say that because you are dismissing their emotions; to them, the experience or problem may seem like the end of the world. Instead, say, “It must be really disappointing." You need to acknowledge how they feel; don't ignore them. If you push away what they are feeling, they won’t come to you when they are troubled or have another problem.
3. Show Trust
Show that you trust your teen. With their newfound independence, they want to be taken seriously. Giving them tasks they can fulfill will boost their confidence in themselves. Another way to establish trust is to try to make reasonable house rules. Having a conversation with your teen and compromising on the rules will show that you trust that they will follow them. Pushing boundaries is natural for teenagers, and it would help to explain the rules you make, because hearing the explanation for the rule may make it more reasonable to them. Not just “because I said so,” but a real reason why.
4. Give Praise
Whether any of the events are real or fake is something we’ll never know, as supporters of the actors we should be here to respect whatever decision they have decided to make. What is sure however is both of them grew within the public eye, including their relationship.
So remember to be positive and praise your child when you can. Giving praise can improve your teens self-esteem and encourage them to continue their good behaviors.
5. Control Your Emotions
When your teen is being rude, don’t respond back by being rude yourself. You are the adult in the situation talking to a very emotional teen with raging hormones. Take a deep breath to calm down, or if both of you are too upset, take a break and continue when both of you have calmed down.
6. Do Things Together
Take an interest in their hobbies. Being interested can create positive scenarios for both of you. Doing things you both enjoy without asking personal questions can show your teen that you can have positive interactions with each other and that you won’t always be questioning or scolding them.
7. Be Observant
It's normal to go through changes as your teen matures, but pay attention to their mood, behavior, energy level, and appetite. Otherwise, pay attention to their hobbies if they stop doing the things they love or enjoy. If you notice them isolating themselves, or if you notice their behavior getting worse, they may need to talk to a mental health professional. When you ask about it, do not be judgmental; ask politely and be supportive. Remember that mental health is just as important as physical health.
